Recently, I discovered something very important about myself… and from the chats I’ve been having with some of the wonderful women around me, I’m coming to understand that I’m far from alone.
I’m a person that has often found it very difficult to say ‘no’. And due to this fact, I often find myself taking on way too much of the things I don’t particularly enjoy. The things that don’t light my fire… Things that I do out of a sense of obligation because I don’t want to let anyone down. But, by taking them on, I’m actually letting myself down.
Now, some of these things would cause me to feel sick to the very pit of my stomach. And that’s not a good feeling. Especially if that law of attraction rule really exists (which for the record, I 100% believe it does)! That sense of obligation forms (in me) as resentment, disappointment and sometimes anger (always directed to myself) which then ripples out into the ether and is reflected back to me through my experience. And these experiences further cement that I’m not worthy of having good things in my life. That I’m not a ‘lucky’ person… That I have to work hard for what I have… Life isn’t handed to me on a silver plater… Things don’t just fall in my lap… Sometimes you just have to do the things you don’t like (ah that old childhood chestnut). And for the record, it’s okay to do some of the things you don’t like… if they are leading you to something you do. These beliefs were keeping me a prisoner in a life I didn’t deserve. A life of hard work where nothing came easily.
Another thing that I’ve discovered, is those that have trouble saying ‘no’… are also those who have trouble saying ‘yes’ – to themselves.
I realised that I would happily give and give of myself. If someone needed somewhere to stay to regroup… my door was always open. If someone needed a few bucks to make a dream happen… I’d immediately grab for my wallet – even if it were my last few dollars. I am a giver… and I love that about me… and it’s not about to change! However, while I’m comfortable in the land of giving, I was totally effing hopeless in the land of receiving.
They say ‘the only thing standing between you and what you want… is you’. And never a truer word (or sentence) has been spoken. I realised that by saying ‘no’ to the good things the Universe sent my way… however small – like an offering of support from a friend, or by grabbing for my wallet when someone offers to pay for lunch and insisting I pay the bill – I was constantly telling the Universe ‘thanks for the offer, but no thanks’. So, eventually the Universe stops offering… or you just become so entwined in your belief that those kind of things (like lotto wins, or magical chance opportunities, or even just someone going out of their way to make you feel special) never happen to ‘you’ that it totally becomes your truth. Here is an idea – perhaps they would… if you started saying ‘Yes’ a little more.
Confused? Is it ‘yes’ or ‘no’ I’m supposed to be saying?
It’s a big fat resounding ‘YES!!!’… to you! Accept that compliment – don’t deflect it. As an inspiring friend of mine, Krista Jane, says ‘Thanks and more please’. If someone offers to take the kids for the night so you can have a night out – say ‘yes’! If someone says ‘This is on me’, don’t insist on paying, or sneak a $20 in their bag (yes, I’m one of ‘those’ people). If an opportunity is presented to you that you’d really like to explore, push passed the fear say ‘yes’ – even if it means pushing the boundaries a little.
And the more you say ‘yes’ to life and to yourself, the more of the wonderful and magical things the Universe sends your way.
Right now, I’m living proof. The last few month I’ve stopped saying ‘no’ and started saying ‘yes’. And in that time I’ve experienced generosity beyond what I’d ever imagined possible. I’ve met some incredible people and has some incredible experiences. I’m constantly on the receiving end of compliments and encouragement. I’m recognising just how lucky I am! And opportunities are arising… especially those being handed to me (from my higher self) in the form of ideas. Thanks Universe and more please!
And trust me, it’s a battle accepting wonderful things into your life… especially when you don’t feel deserving… but the good news is, practise makes perfect and the ‘fake it till you make it’ rule totally applies.
So, try saying ‘yes’ today… and let me know how it goes. xx
*** Karly Nimmo is the founder of Think Beautiful. Her most enjoyable ‘day job’ as a voice over artist and agent at Killer Kopy keeps her busy from her Mid North Coast studio. Karly’s recent journey of self discovery led her to the happy and content place she is now – in addition to starting up Think Beautiful (a passion project). She is passionate about helping people to reach their full potential and follow their dreams… and is one of those people who walks her talk. She is also a fitness nut, a yoga and meditation convert and is launching a new business The Soul Correspondent shortly. Think Beautiful is a manifestation of what goes on inside her head. ***